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Keyboard spazzam

AHHHHH
what a fantabulous weekbend or what i can remeber of it
Got a tad minted and very munted

Friday night there was a partay.
I would love to tell everyone alll about it but the fact i dont remeber half of it explains it all.
What I do remeber
Drinking LOTS
Smoking LOTS
Falling over LOTS
Falling off the back of a chair screaming, "I have a lighter, I have a lighter", which ended in a chair leg snapping off the chair.... so more falling over
The fact that I went for 4 pisses, It seemed very important to me at the time and i was telling everyeone.
Ellie licking her nipple
Dancing to Girls Aloud and complaining when Girls Aloud wernt on
Shoving a stethoscope down peoples tops.
Dancing with a brooom.
Haivng a fight with Mary.
Shouting at a heater.


Things I Dont Remeber but have been told i did
Smoking More
Drinking more
Shouting more
Going OHH ERRR all night
Imagining people were there
Falling over More
The fact that I though the Gazeebo was there living room and commenting how bad of a living room it was.
Talking to the wrong person, i.e. I would call the person Rosie and then talk to them as if they were Rosie when it's some boy I've never met before

Saturday was goooood
Went to Londonium early
with the crust whos brithday it was, the kirst and melll.
Gave the crust a card with a painting of an old man and kid on it.
Took a photo on crusts camrea of a lady eating salad on the tube, Crust looks chinese
Went to Camden, ate the cheap chinese for the lairy chinese people who shove there fork of chicken in your eye
Styaed in camden for fages, talked to funny preacher man who told us to stop smoking and on his microphone tols us about somking drugs and said Saton will say hello like this HEEEEEELUOOOOO
Met up with people for gig
Shoved all our stuff in one overflowing bag to put only one thing in the cloakroom, the lady weed herself
Bedouin Soundclash were reallly gooood and when the night feels my song was magical
I MET A MAN WITH THE SAME PHONE AS ME. We congratulated eachother and called eachother legends and hugged
There was a man with a funny moustache
Gogol were amazing like ususal, crowd were very good aswell
Papa Joe dropped me home form station, waht a nice man

Sunday went to see Tottenham against Chelsea
AND WE BEAT FUCKING CHELSEA OH YEHHHHH
Was well good game.

OH YEH on tube there were some posh white kids who said BARE bare too much and one guy who was like twice there age but oo much of a loser to hang out with people his own age and then they let off a stink bomb then left

THE TWATTY WANKERS

AHHHH i had a good weekend but now i feel dead
but SANDRA'S coming to stay tomorrow YAAAAAAY
but so's her twatty husband
BOOOOO

Hope you feel better Lo

I went to Scottyland to visit My famileee

These People live in Edinburgh.
My little Cousin called Daisy looks abit like Jarvis and has pretty red glasses
My Uncle is a sarcastic MOOBAG but he made me lots of cd's so it's alright
My Aunties are fun
Me and Daisy wrote a story
Daisy stepped in lots of poop
Edinburgh is weird, It's a city but it dont feel like one and It's scary, there's too many white people and you dont expect that in a city.

Then I went to see my Gran and Grandad
We all had a nap in the afternoon, it was nice
They live just outside Glasgow
Glasgow is rough but that makes it nice in my eyes, it's more homely.
My Gran and I just talk and bitch when we get toghether, I love her soooo much.
She's all worried about radaiation getting into her food because their microwave is old.
I want to live with them

On the way back I saw a sign to Clitheroe!
I shouted Clitheroe in a loud voice and my Dad got confused.
I want to go to Clitheroe and poke Lauren etc.

Long Blondes tomorrow
eeeeep.

At school today;

A boy was walking around with a tampon that had been dipped in water stuck up his nose!!
It was very very LOL ZOMG LOL

The math teacher in the classroom accross from us fainted, so Tom Cramer (I IZ DA SUPER BRRAP EVEN THO I WELL AINT) ran out there class going FUCKIN SHIT SHES FUCKING FAINTED. So in the middle of our test me and my mate ran out of class to see, she was just lying on the floor. How exciting! Yet Scary!

Had auditoins for ze musical, I think i did allreet.

Evryone was having a fruit fight, there was mushed bannana on my bag so i wiped it on a chair which a boy then sat on.

Anna Maria (JERK CHICKEN BRRRAAAPPPP) who is one of my dear friends now told me more fun storys in Food Tech.

I nearly scored an owngoal with my elbow in football, I am very skilled.

School was surprisingly fun today! :)

-You Crashed Into My CAR!

-Frilly Knickers

I keep seeing old ladies and thinking there Luke...
Hmmmm.....

Thinks I have a Fish called Wee...

I went out today.
I ate some food.
I went to the caff.
I got cold.
I went in a pohone box for warmth.
Kirsty rang a free number.
She told me to talk to them when they came on.
The scottish man said, "Hello Welcome to Sex Line".
I got scared.
I hung up.

Im going to Hounslow tomorrow.
Yay.

Sorry i aint written in this in FAGES. Everytime I have been something has happened which ment i had to stop.
Saw Spurs yesterday and theres nothing like 36,000 people singing "Campbell is a Cunt" all in unison. Oh what fun it is!
Fryday we had bany pracktive which was enjoyable and ended up all just drawing lots of weee.
On Wedneday the trains were buggered so I went round random sixth former Carlo's house. I 'd only met him once before and he had such a pretty house, It had a blue door and evrything was lovely, I wish I lived there. It was me, Kirsty (Dickchin), Mel (HairyKebabHead), (Crusty) Cristin and Carlo.

We watched Pokemon and it was very very funny.
Then we played Cluedo until we all got bored and ended up cheating with each other but we left mel out.
Me and Kirst won :) or you could say we were the best cheaters.
Then we drunk cups of tea. Carlo has posh sugar for the tea. It was nice

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKK
WEDNESDAY...

P.S. The dramaa
I think Kirst and Carlo are going to get it on

We had a photoshoot
I find it strange that someone wants to just take photos of us
It was fun tho
We chuckled and from what weve seen on the cameraa they look purdy

Then we had bandy pracktice
I get to play a fun intro on the poogasm keyboard, on our new song 'Shit On My Carpet'
Then we played sit down table tennis with a boucy ball

Bascilly moi et Lois sitting on chairs, hitting bouncy balls to each other and nearly allways missing and then shouting at Luke to pick them up as we cant get them because it's part of the 'rules' that we dont get off our arses.

Were lazy sods really :)

Isnt it nice when you feel part of a community?
And at the moment i do.
Its nice to know that when i go out i am allmost definatly going to meet atleast one person i know.
It makes me feel accepted :) and like i have quite afew friends :)

AND in other news
IM GOING TO SEE Gogol Bordello and Art Brut in November
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

READING TICKETS ARRIVED, WHY GOLLY GOSH IM EXCITED

Well im sure most of you have allready seen the Long Blondes Pictures over at Lois'.

I dont remember what i did over the weekend.

But i remember Tuesday was fun.

Went to see Toby in Brighton, got id'd and got in :). He gave us a free cd and beer. His guitar kept pooping itself and all his best friend was playing in the other support band and he told us how he fought for Toby and how Toby was his prize when they were 5.

Bless.

The other bands were good aswell and we had lost of chatting with Toby.

On Wedenesday we went and saw one of the best movies in the world, Ant Bully.

Everyone should go see it, its AMAZING.
Then we saw Cars which was SHIT.
And i bought a midget Accordian :) and Lois has got a very fun keyboard now :)

Past two days have been spent being sick and feeling Krappy. :(
Ment to be at a party right now. :(
Nanny (she ainnt really my nan but she pretty much is) has had another stroke and is in hospital but ive been too ill to visit her. :(

Woop Woop, Went to Tate in Londonium today to see The Long Blondes for free.

Went with Lois (of course), Cristin, Her mate (im bad with names) and the other girls mate.

So we got there well early so we went to the make your own art stall and the ladys that ran it were well nice.

We made signs for the gig. Mine said "The Long Blondes Make Me Wee Myself", Lois' said "The Long Blondes are so good, They make me think of lemons" and Cristin's said "Screech, I want your babys".

So then we had to que for an hour and we made friends in the que. There was a funny man who argued with the staff loads aswell, he was amaze.

When we got down to where it was happening WE MET ALL OF THE LONG BLONDES, YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY.

THEY WERE ALL SO NICE AND SIGNED OUR STUFF AND TOOK PHOTOS WITH US AND KATE SAID THAT MY SIGN RULES, YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY.

They all loved my sign YAAAY.

Then they played and they were well good although Screeches drumkit fell apart and Dorain told us how he was soo pissed that he kept forgetting what he was doing and found it really funny. We were so close that I could of poked them in the eye and because i told Dorian that Cristin wanted Sreeches babies he kept telling Cristin to get in there quick.

Then we met Screech again and spoke to him and he said he felt like crying when everything went wrong. While we there an american lady came along and went "I love your signs, I NEED a photo". So she took one on a polariod and took another and gave it to us.

Then we met Dorian again and he was fun and we spoke to him about Citrus Fruits.

Then we met a fun man called Tom and his friend just came and kissed us then walked off.

Then we spoke to screech again and we spoke to him about allsorts for about 20 minutes, and he agreed that John loves Ponys and wrote it on the setlist Cristin got for Mel. HOORAH.

I shall put up the photos when i get them, They shall be funfunfun.

Then we buggered off home.

But Basiclly I MET ALL THE LONG BLONDES GOT DORIANS PICK, MADE FRIENDS WITH SCREECH AND DORAIN AND MADE LOADSA OTHER FRIENDS.

My cat just ate a DaddyLonglegs. Lovely.

Theres some fat dude running around my house talking about fillets of fish.

Everytime he takes another steps it's like boom boom.

I dont know who he is, but he's kinda scaring me.

I think he's one of my brothers mates and i think theres a bout 50 of them round and now it sounds like there watching porn.

Im scared.
So are my cats.


Went on the arts centre picnic today LOLZ and then went to the fair with Lois, Luke, Ellie, Drew, Her 2 little girls Amy whose 4 and Marley whos 2 and Captin Weebox.

Then Ian and Simone turned up.

Ian was pushing the pram with a tiger in it, so i said "nice baby Ian".

So he replied, "Oh i have lots of babies, Just normally im wiping them off my chest with a tissue."

Ian's scary sometimes and sometimes he's funny.

The dodgems were fun and Amy and Marley are well cute Bless em.

Amy had to do a wee in the bush.

Then Luke bought us Pizza in Pizza Hut.

Then i got lairy, sorry Lois.

Now im sitting here scared.

Lois do ya wanna do something tomorrow?, something that dont take much effort

I went to the dentist and he liked my teeth.

And the rest of the day i just sat around on my arse.

Did anyone see big brother last night?

I think i wee'd myslef

The maltesers in ashleenes mouth

HA.

TOBY IN A WEEK.

READING SOON.

We played a gig on Sunday and we made more money than any one else oh yeh

We sold 6 cds!

But more importantlyi said hello to Mr. shortfunoldchinesemand and he went warbruaghy in a very mumbly way

I LOVE HIM

What a fuckin weird night.

But i shall start from the start.

So practiced with the band and new bassist due blew us off, but thats a good thing as i didnt like the sound of him.

Practice went really well and then some randomer at the studio gave us loads of cds and said he wanted to hear our work.?

So we went out flyering aorund windsor and a man in a sailors hat said he would come to the gig.

Then ate pizza in Pizza Hut and it was nice, but we ended up putting the foot cheese in the water so we left.

So it was back to the Arts Centre where there was an exhibition on which involved eating cake with peopole in panda suits.

Then there was the "music".

When we got down there one of the acts were soundchecking. It was man with a fore head bigger than the rest of his face shouting/rapping down a mic with a laptop making noise behind him. He asked Dave who is the sweetest man and does the sound to turn it up and Dave said, 'sorry i cant were not aloud to go any louder because of our licence'.

So then this cunt of a man (whos called Ratface?, and he was uglier than a rat) starts shouting at Dave and telling him to Fuck off and that hes a prick.

Then the show starts, first up we have a man and his acoustic guitar which was alright.

Then we have Captain Fun as me and Lois called him, who was a fat man who looked like a cross between, Eddie Argos, The yellow thing from boy least likely to, the guy ive forgotton the name of form league of gentlemen and the man from the Peep Show.

He was really nice and all electronica.

Then we have the wanker that seemed incharge of it all. His "music" was him running around in his pants smacking a guitar and screaming I AM DISCO.

Thats when i went upstairs and trouble starts to happen.

So it turns out Ratface has been boasting about how he was gunna beat Dave up and how he has been kicking Daves van in and then he brought in alcohol from accross the road which you aint aloud to do, otherwise the bar looses its licence.

And the people who run it have blocked the mens loos with flyers for there stuff and theyve been having ago at some stewards whove told em to put there fags out.

So then Alex (house manager who is fun) has a word and this bigg argument breaks out and Alex pulls the plug on the thing.

GO ALEX GO.

Then the twats who brought the beer in start asking people if theyve seen it and Ellie (who works behind the bar and is leaving tomorrow :() has nicked it to use tommorrow as a goodbye but she denys seeing it, so in the end she got to keep it. HOORAH.

Then we saw the fun short chinese man get in his car and drive for about 5 meters and then park it again, HE IS LOLZ.

Im looking forward for tommorow for it is Markfest and we get to play.

turahh xx

Well went down the arts centre with Lois tonight to do box office.

Claire was in which made it funfunfun and we spazzed around and chatted.

Me and lois made some more cd inserts.

Ellie was being fun by opening all the ramdom drinks and then we tryed them, some of them were rank so John shook them up at they fizzed all over Ellie which made me chuckle.

We went to get Dave some Dave Juice (just jusice) and a random russian guy told us he likes our band, so he was fun.

John had to ride home from Windsor to Slough on a bike that had no lights on it at 11 o'clock, so we gave him a lift, which ment him and Karen putting it on the roof whilst me and Lois ran around dancing with poles and saying about how the parking machine had nipples, and a fanny, and a butthole and a penis, all to the amusement of some ladys accross the road.

Took John home and met his cat, who is one of the nicest cats in the world, and she was sooo beautiful. Her name was Tilly.

So im sitting in my house now changing the times on these markfest leaflets that im handing out 2moro.

Not looking forward to tomorrow that much.

Phil who's the man that runs the recording studio where we record and is a very lovely man had let us practice in his rehersal studios tomorrow for free, so we can practice with this new bassist dude, and from what ive heard this bassist dude sounds scary and boring and knobbish.

Hopefully he won't turn up.

Then the second part of the day sounds fun, going to the arts centre where there's something weird happening wit masks.

Oh and cos the arts centres closing for a month there having a picnic on wednesday. So cue lots of Dave spazzing and laughing with funny pepole, most of whom are twice our age. IT WILL BE FUN.

Night Night xx

Well i'm sitting here FUCK THAT BIT OF LIGHTNING WAS RIGHT NEXT TO THE FAAHKIN HOUSE------sorry bout that, just typed what happend.

I shall start from the start again.

So i'm sitting here watching Emmerdale (How Fun) and its time for the adverts.

Now i realise that Barry Scott is the saviour of the adverts. He saved me from a whole set of adverts being about shitty furniture sales. Even Bill Oddie's sold out to them. I Love you Barry Scott.

The weather reallly is scaring me now.

I Did A Sit Down Wee

i dont know why but i just felt like it, and i thought i would share it with everyone.

Yesterday was fun, went to staines to see a movie and just ended up watching pirates of the carribean again, then wondered around for a while.
Saw Roise, Betty and Alison in the cinema and they had managed to break the ice cream cabinet.
Bumped into Kirsty and Abbey so we walked round with them and then i had a hard decision to make.

Do I get pick n mix or macdonalds? HMMMMMM

I went to MacDonalds cos i was rather hungry, but i could not eat it yet bcos Rowan was getting rather lairy at Kirsty again.

So walked to the station so kirsty ddint get knifed by Rowan and it was a right lil gathering.

Started to eat my macdonalds and dropped sauce all down Lois' trousers. OOOOPS

Then Mr Smelly TrainGuard wouldnt let us on the train cos we had noo tickets.

So we waited for the next one.

Then we got on the train and Lois came round mine.

When we got back my borther was having sex with his girlfriend so i dont think he was too happy to see us. OH WELL

We made some cd covers for Sunday so we can sell em.

Then Lois went home.

Today i didnt do much but i had to clean my bedroom, so ive started it but i aint finished.
And i got one of the keyboards working so HURRAH.

And it pissed it down.

helloo and welcome to the world of peetar miller.

And before you ask i am that guy from that band the The Anti Pigeon Device

Thursday
Finished skool, thanks to train strike (YAY)

Friday
Started in Egham, got a Subway (YUM) and got chuckled outa woolies.
Thanks to train strike being cancelled (YAY) i get to go to the greatness of Hounslow with Uncle Dickchin and Grandpa Hairy Kebab Head(Kirsty and Mel).
Oh what fun it is, like my heaven, 89p store, 95p store, 98p store, 99p store and Poundland
I got a moustache for every day set, some paintbrushes, some markers which smell fun (it saids it smells like sweetcorn?), some kinder buenos and Kirsty stole us some condoms.
On the train ride back we wanted to go to LIDL but we couldnt cos you have to have a ticket to get off at feltham :(
So we retreated back to the park by egham station where we made an Anti Pigeon Device sign and got asked by some chavs playing football if "are you hippys? can you buy us beer?" and "do you have sex in bushes?"
Then i went to the Arts Centre but i dont remeber what happnd there.

Saturday
Got me hair cut in the morning.
Played gig at St. Peters Hall in Staines.
Lot of expectation around it.
Which didnt help.
The back stage bit was fun tho, full of kiddy toys and ppl eating midgety carrots straight out the floor and throwing playmobil castles at each other.
Me and Luke played on the see saw.
So we played our gig with SHITTY SOUND to a hall of ppl more intrested in talking to each other at the back of the room.
But thank you to Mel, Kirsty, Kelly, Hair kid and all his mates for dancing.
Oh and the bands were nice, tah to ben and dave and jez who were all nice.
Got to wear me luffly jacket as well.

Sunday
Went to Staines to try and get Graham Coxons new single but they didnt have it TUT TUT.
So i got Lily Allen album, MAHOOSIVE Jim Noir Vinyl and Long Blondes single on vinyl.
So we got train to Windsahh, went to Farts centre and then went back to Lois'<3 house and recorded Mr Winkys Poogasm
God i LOVE our Mr Winkys Poogasm sessions.
WOOP WOOOP.
Got to wear my jacket again

Monday
Met Kirsty at Egham Station and the got train to Staines.
Wondered about for abit, got the summer burger at macdonalds, was no diffrent from the normal one. Wont be buying that again.
Then went and played CRAZY GOLF at LLamas. OH WHAT FUN.
Me and Dickchin, 2 clubs, 2 Golfballs, 14 Holes and one score card.
BRING IT ON
It was all neck and neck (us smackin it off the course then gettin it in, in about 7) until we got to the 'Nipple Hill' Hole.
Unfortunatly for me it took me about 30 shots to get it in.
Kirsty slipped up wiht a score of 17 at the 'Penis' Hole.
But she still beat me.
Then I got a Cider Lolly and we met Lois.
Then we wondered towards town and Met Mel.
Went to fun cheapy shope, Mel got some plasters, i got a knome and lois got some stickers.
Saw Dan Messcal and scared him.
Went to Argos to nick some pens, then raced mel up to the top of the carpark. We won as we were in the lift. HA.
Got train to Windsahh and met some UBER FUN Jappyneese tourists. We had Plasters on our faces and they found this intresting, so we gave them so plasters and the stuck them on there noses. So then it was LOTS of pickyture taking wiht the Jappynese girls.
I then shouted ochinchin as we walked off.
Sat in Arts Centre for fages, then walked to staion to see Kirsty and Mel off.
Some men shouted at 'wanker' at me on the way past. How Fun.
Played with a tennis ball and a well fun little toy in station and then went home.
Got to wear me Jacket again with my Nipples ocasionlly poking out

Tuesday
Met Kirsty at Egham Station and she said 'Im taking you to the cinema'.
So back on the train we went and off to Staines again.
Wondered around and popped into oxfam etc.
Then on walk to cinema, walked past Nandos and decided we would rather go to Nandos (YUM)
Spent 2 hours in there just chatting about our lifes, eating forzen yougurt and trying to drink with loys of straws, it was very nice.
Then went to Matalan and Kirsty made me try on some super tight trousers and took a photo :(.
Found some shoes i REALLY liked and made them keep them for me.
Then made Kirsty try on lots of dresses she hated.
We ran around with a trolley and knocked things over.
Then went upstairs and saw John Wildsmith downstairs so we dropped some clothes on his head.
Played catch with a ball and Kirsty laughed at me for catching like a girl.
Then started to walk to station and i bought a walking stick and Weirdo Mcsmelly and Tome Cramer laughed at me.
Found a trolley on walk to station and was gunna take it back to get pund out but realised that it was already out of it.
Had to change train cos guard was coming and Rohan got abit annoyed wiht Kirsty cos she was very late.

TADAAAAAAAAAAAA